


Echoes

by serendipityxxi



Category: NCIS
Genre: Father's Day, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 02:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4042867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serendipityxxi/pseuds/serendipityxxi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gibbs sees echoes of his little girl all around him some days. He sees her in kids walking down the street and waiting in line at the grocery. He sees her in the kids they come across on their cases, and especially in the grown up lines of Maddie Tylor’s face, but most of all he sees her in his team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Echoes

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Disclaimed

Gibbs sees echoes of his little girl all around him some days. He sees her in kids walking down the street and waiting in line at the grocery. He sees her in the kids they come across on their cases, and especially in the grown up lines of Maddie Tylor’s face, but most of all he sees her in his team.

He sees her in the proud twinkle in Abby’s eyes when he praises her and the mischievous grin when she teases him. Kelly would puff up like a blowfish when he liked her painting or told her she made the best fake tea, cheeks round and dimpled with a grin fit to bust. It had been Abby’s pigtails that charmed him when he first met her; they bobbed around her head while she hummed happily to herself, totally wrapped up in her work. Kelly was the same way with play, with homework, whatever she was working on once she got into the groove. She’d had incredible focus. Abby still has the childlike wonder and joy in discovery that Kelly had at eight, Gibbs hopes Kelly would have kept it well into adulthood too.

He sees Kelly in Ziva’s serious face when he’s explaining something to her; Ziva soaks up information like a sponge just like Kelly did. He taught Ziva to play baseball a few months ago, just like he taught Kelly. He still smiles at the image of the tough grown up ex-Mossad-turned-NCIS Agent grinning like a little girl as she raced across the field, long brown pony tail streaming behind her to snatch the old ball out of the air. Ziva challenges him when she thinks he’s wrong and that makes him think of his girl too, she’d never let him get away with anything – hands on her hips, head tilted just like her mother _“No Daddy, you’re not supposed to have coffee after dark,”_ she’d scold. He sees Kelly in Ziva in the way that Ziva’s willing to forgive her own father so much... Eli David doesn’t deserve forgiveness. He hopes if he had betrayed Kelly like that she would never have forgiven him. He hopes Eli David’s guilt eats at him, the way his own guilt at leaving his girls does.

He even sees Kelly in the petty squabbles between Tony and McGee. Kelly had wanted a little brother, and Tim fills that role for Tony perfectly. They have arguments in the same tones that Gibbs imagines Kelly and her brother might have. Tony would have made a good big brother, Gibbs sees it in the way he pushes McGee to be better, to be independent but also wouldn’t leave the kid to twist in the wind if he fell into trouble. He imagines Kelly would have followed Tony around and copied his every move and DiNozzo would have preened and showed off for her like he does in the bullpen.

If Gibbs weren’t a man of few words he would talk to Kelly, tell her of these grown children who have wormed their way into his heart despite his best efforts to keep everyone at bay. He would assure her that they haven’t replaced her, they’re not better because they’re alive and she’s gone, he loves them equally, like a father should.

If he was going to talk to anyone it would be Shannon, he’d tell her he couldn’t love anyone as much as he loved her. He’d tell her he tried and he’d be ashamed to admit it. And Shannon? She’d laugh at him, remind him she was gone and she loved him, she wouldn’t want him to be lonely. But he’s a marine, Semper Fi, always faithful, he can’t let go of Shannon. The only other woman who’d truly penetrated his defences was feisty, infuriating, challenging Jenny Sheppard, but even Jenny with all her cleverness and her courage couldn’t touch Shannon’s memory. The guilt ate away at him until he found himself sabotaging their relationship just as he had every other one that came before.

He wants to be happy, he does, he just can’t give up his ghosts; it wouldn’t be fair to them. He didn’t lie to Ziva when he said you’re never lonely when you have kids, it’s true he has his team and his memories and he’ll do the best he can and protect them to the end.


End file.
